A young boy in Brooklyn has set off a middos alert by kissing the mezuzah.
Following the Chief Rabbi's ban on kissing the mezuzah, the re-programmed middos alert system is now going off every few seconds as boys and girls around the world have to be trained out of kissing the mezuzah.
A Rabbi in the community said that kissing the mezuzah by mistake is not as bad as eating treif but its pretty bad. "For a lubavitcher it would be like eating cholov stam and for a litvisher-yeshivishe it would be like going to Crown Heights for Simchas Beis Hashoeiva."
Shnuky and the doctor did not know how to deal with this particular middos alert as there is no tape in the library yet to play for people who kiss mezuzahs. Uncle Moishy 1 and Uncle Moishy 2, who have been filming The Real Uncle Moishys of Brooklyn, have both been working on an anti kiss the mezuzah song.
Uncle Moishy 1 has said that the song will feature the mitzvah men while Uncle Moishy 2 said he is not sure yet if the mitzvah men can feature in a song where the mitzvah is not to do the mitzvah.
Unrelated to the crisis being dealt with by Dr. Middos, Shnuky and all the other young children who hang out at Dr. Middos' house, a sofer in Boro Park has come up with a Mezuzah cover that is also a Purell dispenser. Problem is though that the Purell will cost more than the Mezuzah.