Swiss Hotels Invest in Non Shower Seeking Chemicals

August 15, 2017

To battle the scourge of Jewish people, Swiss Hotels have collaborated with scientists to create a chemical that makes Jewish people glow if they go swimming without showering.

The chemical seeks levels of various foods in the blood to determine the Jewishness of a person. The brighter the glow, the more days it has been since a shower.


The pharmaceutical company that there was initially some malfunctions with the chemical as non-Jews were also glowing.


"We don't believe that these gentiles did not shower, we simply feel that it was a flaw in the chemical".


Owners of Swiss Hotels have been buying the chemical in bulk. There have been requests from Israeli Hotels to purchase the chemical but the government has stepped in worrying that so many glowing people pose a security risk.


The glow eventually goes away. 

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