top of page
  • Writer's pictureSchmaltz News

Fidget Spinner Found Mutilated and Buried in Teacher's Yard

School has been out for about 4 weeks and police have made a gruesome discovery in a L.A teacher's yard, a mutilated fidget spinner buried in a shallow grave.

Police held a press conference outside the home where the mutilated fidget spinner was discovered. They did not yet release the name of the fidget spinner as next of kin have not yet been notified of the awful news.

Already teenagers, kids and even adults have been seen gathering near the scene of the crime to hold silent vigils for the dead fidget spinner. Many in the crowd were seen with a fidget spinner in each hand, spinning them quite vociferously in a show of raw fidget spinner emotions. The irritating spinning noise was the only thing that broke the palpable silence.

The teacher who has been charged with confiscation and murder of a seriously class disturbing item is likely to plead insanity. The onset of the insanity was said to be caused by incessant bottle flipping and then exasperated by silly putty until the teacher was beyond help when fidget spinners came into his classroom.

It will be of no solace to the teacher that he will spend the night behind bars with inmates who have been given access to fidget spinners.

Tributes have been pouring in for the fidget spinner from around the globe, include Baron Trump and other notable fidget spinner spinners.

A benefit concert where glow in the dark fidget spinners will be waved in the air like candles is being planned in aid of the family of the badly mutilated fidget spinner.

The fidget spinner will be laid to rest after the identifying process is complete.

16 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Young Boy sets of Middos Alert by Kissing the Mezuzah

A young boy in Brooklyn has set off a middos alert by kissing the mezuzah. Following the Chief Rabbi's ban on kissing the mezuzah, the re-programmed middos alert system is now going off every few seco

bottom of page