Fresca: Frum Jews Keep Us In Business

June 28, 2017

American soft drink Fresca admitted on Tuesday that they are only kept solvent by frum Jews. The company said that there had been a steady decline in Fresca drinkers from about the 3rd week of the initial launch of the product, however they had seen solid sales and continued growth in predominantly frum Jewish areas.




The distinct citrus flavored beverage has been a hit at barmitzvahs, weddings and all other frum events since the day it was discovered. It was discovered by a shul goer who went to the beverage machine and found it to be sold out of every other soda. Left with little choice, he bought a Fresca. He shared it at a shiur and the rest as they say is history. The vending machine owner admits that he initially stocked the Fresca in the machine by mistake. 


In an attempt to revive the brand, Fresca added some other flavors and they had little to no success with the average consumer. They did find however that frum Jews bought those flavors in abundance too.


Frum Jews have always flocked to Fresca like flyers to tomato juice. The reasons for this relationship are not clear but many have said that it is because Fresca starts with the word "fres" but this is all merely speculation.


Fresca plans to throw a dinner honoring the frum community for their continued patronage. Caterer Dovid Shimshonson will accept the honor on behalf of the frum community. 


The company has even launched a marketing campaign to thank the frum community for their continued patronage and have launched a slogan competition for the new campaign.


The slogan options are:


"When you are going to fres, fres with a Fresca".or

"F, Fr, Fre, Fres, Fresc, Fresca Fresser" or

"There is no frumer drink than Fresca.


Fresca will choose a winner at the honorary dinner.


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see an influx of customers like a kosher pizza store on Motzei Pesach.

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