Schmaltz News
Coca-Cola Buys Rights to Make Ohel Cookie Recipe A Secret
Coca-Cola has purchased the rights to deem the secret recipe for Ohel cookies, a secret for all time.

A spokesman for Coca-Cola has said that there is nothing quite as unique as Ohel cookies.
"We have searched far and wide in search of a cookie that makes as much crumbs as an Ohel cookie and we have not found it."
Ohel cookies are a unique cookie found at the Ohel. The defining character of the cookie is that it crumbles when touched by a human being. The crumbs are known to get into burly beards and stick to clothes with a unique adhesive ability.
Hashgochas have already voiced their concern that making the recipe a secret can make the cookie production unhechsherable.
Coca-Cola fired back by saying that they have hashgochas lined up to give the hechsher.