Schmaltz News
Young Camp Song Dies of Bad Lyrics to Tune Ratio
Camp Staff have reported that a young camp song has died overnight due to a bad lyrics to tune ratio.

The song made it into the Grand Sing of Color War, it was clearly in a state of distress but attended with no option.
Later that night, staff who composed the song and taught it with glee to hundreds of kids pronounced the song dead.
The official statement read:
"We are saddened to share the news of the untimely death of our dear camp song, the heart of the camp song made of lyrics could not stretch any longer to fit the tune and succumbed to it's wounds a matter of minutes after the Grand Sing".
While the news is shocking a Camp Song Doctor has said that this occurrence is not rare. About 93,000 of every 100,000 camp songs will not make it out of the Grand Sing alive. Some will die of bad lyrics to tune ration, while others die of not making sense and even more of just being like 3,000,000 other camp songs.
For tonight though a camp mourns.