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UNESCO Decides Jews Are Not Jewish

Many Jews were left scratching their heads on Friday as United Nations Members of the UNESCO committee voted on whether Jews are Jewish. By a 12-3 margin the decision was adopted that Jews are not Jewish.

This particular vote in UNESCO was the first of its kind as UNESCO has never ever voted before on the status of a people in denying them their religion.

The UNESCO resolution stated that Jews were actually just living and breathing Palestinian heritage sites.

Actual notes of the resolution state the following:

"As per UNESCO resolution 56613 we hereby adopt by a vote of 12-3 the resolution that Jews are not actually Jews, they are simply mobile Palestinian Heritage Sites".

The US and two others who voted against the proposition suggested that the United Nations simply shut shop and amalgamate itself as a large body incorporated in the Arab League of Nations.

UNESCO chairman said about the vote, "we are openly biased against Israel and Jews and simply wanted to clarify our position in no uncertain terms".

The Israeli representative at the UN stated that the resolution was strange because Jews predated the Palestinians.

Jewish people in the Meah Shearim neighborhood were unaware of the adopted policy of UNESCO but went about preparing for Shabbos as usual.

Shimon Cohen summed it up best when he said, "UNESCO, SHMUNESCO, they can't take away my shabbos, my yom tov, my kugel, my cholent and let them even try and take my mokoim kavuah in the beis midrash".

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