Table Manufacturers Warn Against Lifting Grooms

A spokesman for the Worldwide Association of Table Manufacturers has issued a stern warning against lifting grooms or brides on tables.

This statement comes hot on the heels of a statement from Tablecloth Manufacturers advising against using tablecloths as skipping ropes. Many commentators have indicated that a statement from chair manufacturers is not long off now.

The warning came with alternative options like a self raising stage or even a winch to get the groom up to a point where he can see the bride without having to be lifted on a table.

Wedding goers have said that they will ignore the warning. A wedding goer in Los Angeles said, "We have been using tables for as long as I can remember and only once did I see the groom go right through the table, I don't see any reason not to use tables."

Table activists have said that a warning did not go far enough. "We want to see a full ban of this lifting up brides and grooms on tables", said Marlon Feltch of People for Tables International. "Why would a bride or a groom want to spend the happiest day of their life nervously stamping and trampling on a helpless table?"

Grooms have said that not being lifted on a table would put a huge dampener on a wedding dancing festivities. They all echoed the sentiment that it would be missing from the wedding video and deny them the chance of having napkins thrown at them.