July 25, 2017

What started off as a joke quickly escalated into an all out family feud as an aunt displayed her anger by leaving the family Whatsapp chat. There were no serious alarm bells until the grey box popped up in the chat indicating that the aunt had left. Then everything br...

July 20, 2017

As the shidduch crisis rages on, a blacklisted Rabbi has come up with a plan to abolish the age old gezeirah of Rabbeinu Gershom. The age old gezeirah forbids a man from marrying more than one wife. In a statement on behalf of the office of the blacklisted rabbi, the r...

July 19, 2017

7-11 have stated that they do not intend on re-scheduling 7-11. A massive outcry broke out over the fact that the Free Small Slurpee Day, traditionally July 11th fell out on the Jewish fast day of the 17th of Tammuz. This prevented many people from getting a free small...

July 14, 2017

Gender equality activists have set their scopes on far more than just income inequality, they have now petitioned a board of Rabbonim to rename the famous gathering of Rabbis, known as Yarchei Kallah to be known as Yarchei Chosson V'Kallah.

A spokesman for the group tha...

July 11, 2017

A Brooklynite who needs a few days off from his neighbors and neighborhood has decided to go upstate with them. Wishing to remove himself from the traffic, grind and hustle and bustle of city life, he will be relocating to the mountains, along with his family along wit...

July 11, 2017

A Jewish orthodox lady has revealed to her friends in what was a very difficult announcement  that she ran a marathon. It is the same lady that has a difficult time sharing with others that she is vegan and has experimented with cross-fit.

While sitting among a group of...

July 10, 2017

The Tznius Police have been cracking down on misdemeanors and  other non-compliance over the summer.In a show of force, in the early hours of Sunday morning they made 5 arrests (names withheld) on the streets of Brooklyn in connection with Tznius infringements....

July 3, 2017

In overnight breaking news, Schmaltz News has learned that a Brooklyn man was about to copy a Jewish DVD when he saw the "against Halacha" warning on the cover and decided to stop. 

At around about midnight the man sat down at his computer to copy the DVDs. He initially...

June 18, 2017

A piece of tomato was recently rejected from being part of an Israeli for being too big. Spokesperson for the well known organization "Healthy Image of Cut Vegetables" is abhorred with the thought that a piece of tomato could be rejected from a salad for being too big.

...

June 18, 2017

A congregant who is remaining anonymous to protect his identity has admitted to sending his shul's weekly e-mail to spam. He explained that if it was actually a weekly e-mail, it would probably not have been sent to spam but it is becoming more like a daily e-mail.

Acco...

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