Schmaltz News
Yidden Shocked at Superstars Real Last Names
The 3 weeks is a time of no music. Unless you have consulted your Rabbi or listen to acceptable accapella music. Nevertheless, many frum...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 14, 2017
- 1 min
Gender Equality Activists Petition Renaming to Yarchei Chosson V'Kallah
Gender equality activists have set their scopes on far more than just income inequality, they have now petitioned a board of Rabbonim to...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 14, 2017
- 2 min
Fidget Spinner Found Mutilated and Buried in Teacher's Yard
School has been out for about 4 weeks and police have made a gruesome discovery in a L.A teacher's yard, a mutilated fidget spinner...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 13, 2017
- 1 min
Chief Rabbinate Releases List of Blacklisted Shuls Who Have Kiddush Clubs
The Chief Rabbinate has released a once secret blacklist of shuls that host weekly kiddush clubs. The list has the names of many...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 11, 2017
- 2 min
Brooklynite Goes Upstate With Neighbors To Get Away From Them
A Brooklynite who needs a few days off from his neighbors and neighborhood has decided to go upstate with them. Wishing to remove himself...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 11, 2017
- 2 min
Orthodox Vegan Reveals She Ran A Marathon
A Jewish orthodox lady has revealed to her friends in what was a very difficult announcement that she ran a marathon. It is the same...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 10, 2017
- 2 min
Tznius Police Arrest 5 in Raid
The Tznius Police have been cracking down on misdemeanors and other non-compliance over the summer.In a show of force, in the early...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 7, 2017
- 1 min
UNESCO Decides Jews Are Not Jewish
Many Jews were left scratching their heads on Friday as United Nations Members of the UNESCO committee voted on whether Jews are Jewish....
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 7, 2017
- 2 min
Experts Say Home Made Challah is Best Except For French Toast
Food experts have finally proven with definitive testing that home made challah is best, except for French Toast. The experts were...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 6, 2017
- 2 min
Jewish Man Becomes Wine Sommelier Overnight
A Jewish man has become a wine sommelier overnight. A sommelier is a trained and professional wine steward with a deep and vast knowledge...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 4, 2017
- 2 min
Modi Fires Adviser Who Told Him It Was Yom Kippur
Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi is on a historic 3 day visit to Israel. While the visit seems to be going off without any glitches,...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 4, 2017
- 2 min
Lakewood Raids Are Not Color War Breakout
The FBI raids that took place last week in Lakewood, New Jersey are not a grand citywide color war breakout. Many families were under the...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 3, 2017
- 2 min
"Against Halacha" Warning Stops Man From Copying DVD
In overnight breaking news, Schmaltz News has learned that a Brooklyn man was about to copy a Jewish DVD when he saw the "against...
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Schmaltz News
- Jun 30, 2017
- 2 min
Rabbi: Jared and Ivanka Get Heter for Music in the Three Weeks
With the three weeks around the corner, many Jews around the world prepare to mark this mourning period with no music and other...
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Schmaltz News
- Jun 28, 2017
- 2 min
Fresca: Frum Jews Keep Us In Business
American soft drink Fresca admitted on Tuesday that they are only kept solvent by frum Jews. The company said that there had been a...
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Schmaltz News
- Jun 26, 2017
- 1 min
Developing Story: The 8 Minute Pesach Program
Schmaltz News has learned that KMR has teamed with Richard Branson and Virgin Galactic to offer an outer space Pesach experience. The up...
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Schmaltz News
- Jun 25, 2017
- 1 min
Entire Family Ready Before the 18 Minutes
In an entire family has reported that they were completely ready for Shabbos before the 18 minutes. The father of the household disputes...
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Schmaltz News
- Jun 23, 2017
- 1 min
Table Manufacturers Warn Against Lifting Grooms
A spokesman for the Worldwide Association of Table Manufacturers has issued a stern warning against lifting grooms or brides on tables....
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Schmaltz News
- Jun 22, 2017
- 2 min
Man Sits in Assigned Seat On JFK-TLV Flight
In an unprecedented move, a passenger on the JFK to Ben Gurion flight sat in his assigned seat. The passenger who boarded the flight in...
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Schmaltz News
- Jun 21, 2017
- 2 min
Chinese: Chinese Auctions Not Ours
The Chinese Foreign Ministry has released a shocking report in which they state clearly that there is nothing Chinese about Chinese...
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