Schmaltz News
Organization Left With Zero as Matching Fundraising Campaign Time Runs Out
A prominent organization that put hundreds of hours into a charity matching campaign was left with none of their hundreds of donations as...
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Schmaltz News
- Aug 17, 2017
- 1 min
Anti Semites Condemn "Not Their Style" of Anti-Semitism
Anti-Semites who usually jump on the Israel bashing bandwagon have condemned the Charleston style of Anti-Semitism. "We don't feel that...
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Schmaltz News
- Aug 16, 2017
- 1 min
Single Lady Happy to Be Seated Next To Toddler on Flight
A single lady has said that she was very pleased to board the plane and realize that she was assigned a seat right next to a toddler. "I...
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Schmaltz News
- Aug 15, 2017
- 1 min
Swiss Hotels Invest in Non Shower Seeking Chemicals
To battle the scourge of Jewish people, Swiss Hotels have collaborated with scientists to create a chemical that makes Jewish people glow...
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Schmaltz News
- Aug 10, 2017
- 1 min
Calabrian Esrog Deaths Ignored by Leftist Mainstream Media
The mainstream media were silent for another day on the continuing Calabrian Esrog crisis. The death toll on Calabrian Esrogim is in the...
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Schmaltz News
- Aug 8, 2017
- 1 min
Carpool Negotiations At a Standstill
As the new school year breathes ever more heavily down our backs, car pool negotiations are in full swing. It is a time to arrange time...
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Schmaltz News
- Aug 7, 2017
- 1 min
Parents Want One More Week of Summer Vacation
Parents are demanding that school boards investigate the length of summer vacation. Leah Moses on behalf of a united parent body issued...
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Schmaltz News
- Aug 4, 2017
- 1 min
Young Camp Song Dies of Bad Lyrics to Tune Ratio
Camp Staff have reported that a young camp song has died overnight due to a bad lyrics to tune ratio. The song made it into the Grand...
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Schmaltz News
- Aug 3, 2017
- 1 min
Professional Looking Camera Turns Regular Guy Into Photographer
A regular guy has become a photographer. He walked into a store and bought a semi-professional looking camera and it immediately launched...
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Schmaltz News
- Aug 2, 2017
- 1 min
Tisha B'Av Makes Bad Food Pics Look Good
There is not many silver linings to the day of Tisha B'Av but social media experts have found one and they have the scientific data to...
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Schmaltz News
- Aug 1, 2017
- 0 min
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Schmaltz News
- Aug 1, 2017
- 1 min
Tisha B'Av Poses Netflix Dilemma for Families
Netflix has confirmed that they have been inundated by subscribers requesting increased user access to single accounts for Tisha B'Av....
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 31, 2017
- 2 min
Imam Says He is Not Not Not Sorry in Full Throated Apology
An Imam who recently called for the "annihilation" of "filthy Jews" sat down with them on Friday to tell them how sorry he was that he...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 30, 2017
- 1 min
Man on Mi Shebeirach List Been Deceased 6 Years
An investigation on Motzei Shabbos to try and alleviate some congestion on the ever lengthening Mi Shebeirach list revealed that one man...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 28, 2017
- 1 min
Man Gets Phone Call From Calendar Ad
A man has reported getting a phone call from a calendar ad he placed in his synagogue calendar at the beginning of the year. As is his...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 27, 2017
- 1 min
Kosher Restaurant To Offer Tours of What Other People Are Eating
A kosher restaurant is experimenting with the idea of not having any menus whatsoever. So, how will people know what to order if there...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 25, 2017
- 2 min
Family Feud Is Real As Aunt Miriam Leaves Family Whatsapp Chat
What started off as a joke quickly escalated into an all out family feud as an aunt displayed her anger by leaving the family Whatsapp...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 23, 2017
- 2 min
Poll: 92% Will Take Two Day Yom Kippur Over 9 Days Without Meat
The 9 days are almost upon us and Schmaltz News has made some startling discoveries in their poll regarding the 9 days. The most...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 20, 2017
- 2 min
Blacklisted Rabbi Mulls Nullifying Ancient Gezeirah to Solve Shidduch Crisis
As the shidduch crisis rages on, a blacklisted Rabbi has come up with a plan to abolish the age old gezeirah of Rabbeinu Gershom. The age...
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Schmaltz News
- Jul 19, 2017
- 1 min
7-11 Will Not Reschedule 7-11
7-11 have stated that they do not intend on re-scheduling 7-11. A massive outcry broke out over the fact that the Free Small Slurpee Day,...
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