Schmaltz News
Father of 4 Knows Where All His Kids Are At Shul
In a rare feat of supernatural supervision a father four successfully kept tabs on all four of his children at shul. It is yet to be...
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Schmaltz News
- Mar 4, 2020
- 1 min
Young Boy sets of Middos Alert by Kissing the Mezuzah
A young boy in Brooklyn has set off a middos alert by kissing the mezuzah. Following the Chief Rabbi's ban on kissing the mezuzah, the...
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Schmaltz News
- Mar 3, 2020
- 1 min
Store Bought Hamantashen Are Likely to End Up in the Trash
A new mishloach manot think tank has revealed that the vast majority of store bought hamantaschen land up in the trash before, during and...
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Schmaltz News
- Mar 2, 2020
- 1 min
Matzah Merchant Opens Up About The Effects of Corona on Matza Prices
A matzah merchant has opened up about how the Corona Virus is going to effect the cost of matzahs. The Brooklyn based merchant who...
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Schmaltz News
- Mar 1, 2020
- 1 min
Nominations for Jewish Music Hall of Fame
In the Jewish world, it is far too 'gaavahdik' to have a Hall of Fame of Jewish singers. Therefore there is only a hall of fame of Jewish...
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Schmaltz News
- Aug 17, 2018
- 1 min
Top 5 Rebbi and Rabbi Shoes
SAS Timeout Shoes These are the undisputed champions of Rabbi shoes. If you are a Rov of any dignity you will get yourself a pair of...
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Schmaltz News
- May 31, 2018
- 1 min
Tolerance Professor Explains Intolerance
A tolerance professor has said that she is fed up with having to prcatice what she preaches when it comes to being tolerant of others. "I...
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Schmaltz News
- May 25, 2018
- 1 min
Trump Cancels Shul Board Meeting
Unbeknown to many, Donald Trump is a board member of a well established shul. There has been an ongoing standoff between Trump and...
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Schmaltz News
- May 24, 2018
- 1 min
Hand in Hand Remake Scheduled for 2025
The makers of Hand-in-Hand have reportedly signed a multi-million dollar contract to remake the great Hand-in-Hand movie of the 90's....
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Schmaltz News
- May 17, 2018
- 1 min
Yeshiva Educators Pleased the World is Discussing Questions like: What do you here?
The world has been taken by storm by an audio question that has many Yeshiva educators very pleased. Speaking on behalf of all yeshivos,...
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Schmaltz News
- May 15, 2018
- 1 min
Polo Releases Official Logoless Upstate Summer White Polo Shirt
Polo has offcially released their logoless upstate summer white polo shirt. This was the only item in the Polo Boro Park 2018 Catalog....
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Schmaltz News
- May 14, 2018
- 1 min
Just In: 23 Year Old Bochur Open to Dating Girl of Same Age
Schmaltz News has recently learned of a 23 year old bochur living in Crown Heights who openly confessed to the fact that he is willing to...
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Schmaltz News
- May 14, 2018
- 1 min
Coca-Cola Buys Rights to Make Ohel Cookie Recipe A Secret
Coca-Cola has purchased the rights to deem the secret recipe for Ohel cookies, a secret for all time. A spokesman for Coca-Cola has said...
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Schmaltz News
- May 7, 2018
- 1 min
Airline Price Glitch Title Just Fundraising Click Bait
A non-profit organization has come out and apologized for using "Airline Price Glitch" in their subject line as click bait. The...
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Schmaltz News
- Apr 19, 2018
- 1 min
Man Eats Cholent on Motzei Shabbos
The frum world has been thrown into a new era of uncertainty as a man has admitted to eating cholent on Motzei Shabbos. While most people...
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Schmaltz News
- Apr 16, 2018
- 1 min
Man Buys Weightlifting Belt in the Hope of Getting Hagbah
Hagbah is a much coveted honor in many shuls. Shul congregants can show their lifting prowess and wow others with their ability to lift...
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Schmaltz News
- Feb 16, 2018
- 1 min
Benny Friedman will send stunt double to cheaper Pesach Program
With Pesach programs all over the place, Chassidic superstars are in high demand. Household names like Benny Friedman, Avraham Fried and...
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Schmaltz News
- Jan 25, 2018
- 1 min
Hechsher on Kosher Super Bowl does not extend to the entertainment
A large hechsher has issued a statement that Kosher Super Bowl Partys is strictly a reference to the food served at the Super Bowl Party...
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Schmaltz News
- Jan 9, 2018
- 1 min
Meir Kay to High Five Every New Yorker For His Birthday
Hey, Hey, Hey. It is the birthday, of Meir Kay, and you will have a great day because he is handing out free high fives or hugs to every...
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Schmaltz News
- Dec 12, 2017
- 0 min
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